Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Aviation Axioms

Yea though I Fly Through the Valley of Death .I Shall

Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing!
(Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating

base Kadena, Japan).
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You've never been lost until you've been lost at

Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore -test pilot)
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The only time you have too much fuel is when

you're on fire.
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Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in

the ocean than submarines in the sky.
(From an old carrier sailor)
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If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage,

it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.
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When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane

you always have enough power left to get you to

the scene of the crash.
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Without ammunition, the USAF would be just

another expensive flying club.

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What is the similarity between air traffic controllers

and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If

ATC screws up, ..the pilot dies.
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Never trade luck for skill.
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The three most common expressions

(or famous last words) in aviation are "Why is it

doing that?" "Where are we?" and "Oh Shit!"
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Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
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Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant

can get a pilot pregnant.
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Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always

needed to successfully complete the flight.
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A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is
all luck; three in a row is prevarication.
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I remember when sex was safe and flying was

dangerous.
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Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never
left one up there!
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Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a
flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries
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Flying the airplane is more important than radioing

your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or
doing anything about it.
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When a flight is proceeding incredibly well,

something was forgotten.
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Just remember, if you crash because of weather,

your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII When a plane

(crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the

softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and

gently as possible.
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The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; ...

it can just barely kill you.
(Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
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A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't

flying his plane to its maximum. Jon McBride,

astronaut)
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If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing

as far into the crash as possible. Bob Hoover -

renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it;

ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author &

aviator)
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Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver

than you.
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There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign
over squadron ops desk at Davis-

Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
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"What is the purpose of the propeller? The purpose

of the propeller is to keep the pilot cool. You don't

believe that? If the propeller stops, watch how the

pilot starts to sweat."
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The three best things in life are a good landing, a

good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The

night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities

in life where you get to experience allthree at the

same time.(Author unknown, but surely someone
who's been there)
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If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's

about to.
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Basic Flying Rules
Try to stay in the middle of the air.

Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by

the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees

and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to

fly there.
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You know that your landing gear is up and

locked when it takes full power to taxi to the

terminal
posted by S.C. @ 10:27 AM |

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