Friday, September 30, 2005

Words I Actually Said

Sometimes, even *I* am surprised at what comes out of my mouth.

Case in point, last night we were opening a package from Macy's (we're at that point where we get about one delivery every day, which is fun), and it was The Redhead's turn. I was heading into the shower as she pulled the box out, so I'm standing in the bathroom naked when she pulls out the knife set / block that we wanted very badly.

My response?

"That is so cool that I'm going to get in the shower and masturbate while thinking about it."

Thankfully, The Redhead is someone who can take a joke well...
posted by S.C. @ 9:37 AM | 6 comments

Weird Shit I Do

So, I was having a discussion with The Redhead last night, and I let slip one of the weird, personal habits I have, namely that I count in the shower.

When I was younger, I was quite often loathe to get out of the shower and so, to force myself, I would give myself a countdown, and make myself get out when I hit 0. Well, old habits die hard, and I usually end up counting myself down just about every time I take a shower...yes, I even do math on the weekends.

Needless to say, The Redhead laughed hysterically.

Now it's your turn. I want all of my dear readers to figure out a bizarre habit of theirs, and either post it on their blogs, or in the comments section here.

I'll be waiting...
posted by S.C. @ 7:32 AM | 3 comments

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Hall Of Shame

I have nothing of interest this morning, but I am addicted to posting, so I trolled through my archives (I can't believe I post so much crap) and pulled some of my favorites in a couple of different categories.


Working The Hell Desk
Call Of The Day
Dark Foreboding
Helpdesk Call of the Week
Helpdesk Call of The Day
A Piece Of My Life
It's Official...
Working The HellDesk

Funny Stuff
Thoughts On Arbys
I Love Living In The South
The Female Orgasm
Forget The Stock Market

Angry Stuff
Oh My God
What's With The Wristbands?
I Hate People

Picture Posts
Glowstick War
Pictures, Round 2
No Words Necessary
Gratuitous Cuteness
posted by S.C. @ 8:35 AM | 0 comments

A Hairy Situation

Kira posted about the horrors of forgetting to shave a leg over on her blog, and in the spirit of shaving misadventures, I thought I'd post mine.

I used to have a full beard, and even before that I had the moustache/goatee thing (some people call it a Van Dyke), so there were quite a number of people (The Redhead included) who had not seen me clean-shaven. I was still in my past life as a theatre tech, so I had some odd hours. One morning, about 4am, I got home and decided I needed a trim. I was using an adjustable-guard beard trimmer, did a really decent job for me, made it very easy to quickly trim up.

Well, long story short, I forgot to extend the guard, so my first swipe...bzzzt! A chunk of beard falls into the sink.

Now, you might think, "Oh, you just shave around it and it'll be fine." Wrong, because this hair came from right beneath my nose. I called it an "inverse Hitler moustache" (think about it, it'll come to you) and, no matter how I tried, I was unable to salvage a decent facial hair configuration.

So I show up at work the next day clean shaven (and looking 10 years younger, I might add)...

I got some incredibly astonished looks, to say the least.
posted by S.C. @ 8:19 AM | 1 comments


Why is it so damn hard to win the lottery around this place?
posted by S.C. @ 8:04 AM | 1 comments

Simple Math

So, my original plan for last night was to fly up to Terre Haute, IN and back again to pick up some more cross country time. That plan was all well and good until I checked the weather forecast, which showed that the winds at 3000 (normally around 10 mph) were clocking in closer to 30-35 MPH, and the winds at 6000 (normally around 20mph), were coming in at close to 50 MPH.

Now, let's do some simple math here:

Speed of plane : 110 MPH
Wind at altitude : 50 MPH (opposite direction)
Projected Groundspeed : 60 MPH

Hence, it would be faster to drive.

So I just hung around in the area and did some crosswind landing practice, always a good thing to keep current on.
posted by S.C. @ 7:46 AM | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


So, the procedure for getting a marriage license in Kentucky kind of boils down to this:

Clerk: "You two related?"
Us: "Nope."
Clerk: "Great, that'll be $35."
posted by S.C. @ 1:32 PM | 4 comments

Clerkin' Man

Off to see the County Clerk about getting a marriage license.
posted by S.C. @ 10:46 AM | 1 comments

Cell Phone Etiquette For Morons

Today's excercise in blinging rage is brought to you by Morons With Cell Phones, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to wrecking cultural and social havoc across the country.

Cell Phone Etiquette For Morons

In Restaraunts
If your cell phone rings while eating a meal in public, please either send the call directly to your voicemail, or answer it, ask the person to hold, and walk outside and take the call.

By no means should you ever continue the conversation while sitting at the table stuffing food into your mouth. Also, letting the phone continue to ring that obnoxious fucking jingle while you sit there, oblivious to the aural pain you are causing other patrons of the eating establishment, is a bit of a faux pas.

In Movie Theaters
Please see the rules regarding use in restaraunts. Also, calling someone to tell them where you are in the theatre AFTER THE MOVIE HAS STARTED is grounds for immediate death.

In Theatres, Church, etc.
PLEASE TURN THE FUCKING THING OFF. Unless you are a doctor on call, you have absolutely no reason to have that goddamn phone on while you are at a live event.

If I hear your phone go off while at a play, I will track you down and ram that device into the most inconvenient orifice on your body that I can find.

If I hear it go off in church, I will just laugh, because I must be there against my will anyway.

In Cars
I'm sorry, but not all people are created equal. Some people can multitask a lot better than others can. Indeed, some people can DRIVE a lot better than others can, so why don't you pay attention to what you're doing, instead of yammering on about the kids' soccer game, shall we?
posted by S.C. @ 9:36 AM | 2 comments

New Neighbor

The house two doors down from me on my right has been an eyesore for the year that I've lived here, and apparently has been for many, many years. A couple of months ago, we heard that someone from Lexington (about an hour away) came down, walked up to the door, and offered the owner a check for the house. I was thrilled, because anyone with the money to do that can afford to fix the house up a little.

We haven't seen much activity over there in the last few months, other than the slow removal of all of the lawn crap the previous owners had. I was out for a walk last night, however, and I met a man walking out of the house with a dust mask on and a shovel in his hand. I asked him if he was the new owner, and he said no, just a friend of his from New Orleans, up here to escape the toxic sludge that is covering their home.

I was really happy to know this new neighbor of mine, whom I have yet to meet, is at least compassionate enough to share out his good fortune with someone who is on hard times. Mark, the man from New Orleans, is up with his girlfriend, and they're in the process of cleaning out the house so it's habitable (his word : squalid). My home town has very little in common with NOLA, but what good stuff we do have is centered in the neighborhood in which I live. A very eclectic place, and Mark said he was feeling right at home.
posted by S.C. @ 7:53 AM | 2 comments

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Prize Package

On the way back from lunch, I heard a radio station advertise a prize package for a call-in contest they'll be having later today.

The prizes?

Dinner for four at White Castle, and tickets to a motivational seminar.
posted by S.C. @ 12:54 PM | 2 comments

On The Pod #2 : Dave Matthews And Friends

You may or may not recall that Dave Matthews toured with a group of musicians under the title "Dave Matthews & Friends" during the 2003-2004 concert season, culminating with a performance at the Bonnaroo Music Festival on June 11th, 2004. Recordings of this concert are available, either professionally mixed soundboards for a price, or individually taped "auds" (audience recordings) for free. I'd highly recommend downloading a copy of the show...

The lineup included Dave, Tim Reynolds, and Trey Anastasio (arguable 3 of the top 20 guitarists alive), along with Tony Hall (phenomenal bass player) and Ray Paczkowski (keyboards).

The show itself is simply spectacular. Solid performances by talented musicians, complimented by some outstanding orginals and covers, and a real electricity shared between the audience and the band. One of my favorite shows to relax to.

The setlist:

Set I
Up and Away
Solsbury Hill
Stay or Leave (with piano intro...beautiful)
Save Me
Up On Cripple Creek
Some Devil (Dave - solo acoustic)
Dancing Nancies (Dave & Tim - acoustic)
Tell me Something Good
Grey Blue Eyes
So Damn Lucky
Too High
Hey Bulldog

Waste (Dave & Trey - acoustic)
Bathtub Gin (Dave & Trey - acoustic)
Thank You (Falletenme Be Mice Elf) (With Drum & Bass Jam as intro)
posted by S.C. @ 9:23 AM | 0 comments

If You See A Faded Sign At The Side Of The Road

...that says "Fifteen Miles to the..."

Looooooooove Shack!
posted by S.C. @ 8:28 AM | 2 comments

Ugly Kids

What do parents with ugly children do? Seriously? Because my cousin Michael (age 2.5) is cuter than anything, and I STILL wanted to strangle him last night...

We went over to my cousin's house after work to lend a hand, since she had to go to the hospital and have some kind of procedure that involved the scraping out of her, that house has a lot of things that require attention.

2 babies.
1 toddler.
1 cat (or, as we call her, "The Slut", because she wants attention from EVERYONE.)
1 german shepherd.
1 english mastiff (big frickin' dog).

And they ALL want / need attention...

Wow, I say. Wow.
posted by S.C. @ 7:52 AM | 1 comments

Monday, September 26, 2005

Turnabout Is Fair Play

Defective Body Armor May Have Endangered Bush

Are you kidding me? If the bad body armor we put our troops in hasn't ended his career, nothing will.

How's it feel now, Shrub?

via Yahoo! News
posted by S.C. @ 12:36 PM | 0 comments

Amen, Brother

Bob Cesca is my new hero, at least in this specific case.

A great missive to the Christian Right.

via Yahoo! News
posted by S.C. @ 12:35 PM | 1 comments

Overheard Conversation : Husband

Conversation overheard in the lobby of the building I work in...

Woman : "...that's exactly what my husband said!"
Man : "See, me and him would get along really well."
Woman : "That must be why I don't like you."

You can't make some of this stuff up...
posted by S.C. @ 12:12 PM | 3 comments


Ok, as of 7 this morning, my schedule for the week had nothing on it.

As of noon, I have an activity after work EVERY NIGHT, and at least two activities on Sat. and Sun...

Additionally, I have to fit in time to go see Serenity on Friday...Browncoats unite!

<---Geek, and damn proud of it.
posted by S.C. @ 11:53 AM | 1 comments

Deformed Muffin

I just pulled my blueberry mufffin (read: breakfast) out of the bag, and it's all deformed!

Like the batter spilled over the muffin cup when it baked, it's all amoeba-like.

Don't have my camera, so I can't share.
posted by S.C. @ 10:06 AM | 3 comments

When Bad Decades Happen To Good Singers

Did anyone here know that, before he was Addicted To Love, Robert Palmer was actually a damn fine funk/soul singer in the 70's?

He released at least 2 albums back then, including 1974's "Sneakin' Sally Through The Alley", with the title track being a cover of the original that Stevie Wonder would've been jealous of.

Interestingly enough, his band back then contained members of Little Feat, as well as a few other really good musicians that have gone on to big things. Just goes to show you can't judge someone by their 15 minutes of fame...
posted by S.C. @ 7:42 AM | 2 comments

Friday, September 23, 2005

California Is Fucked

Sorry, guys, but if the California Gubernatorial Election next year is between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Warren Beatty, I hope the state breaks away and sinks into the sea.
posted by S.C. @ 9:14 AM | 3 comments

Business As Usual

Glad to see that at least some things are back to normal in New Orleans.
posted by S.C. @ 8:30 AM | 0 comments

Mmmm, Panera

I know several of my readers know the joys of Panera, so this is for you...

I have discovered their newest little addiction, the Baked Egg Souffle.

Fan-tastic. A nice pastry with eggs, spinach, and artichokes baked inside. Yummy for breakfast.
posted by S.C. @ 8:13 AM | 10 comments

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Piece Of My Life

Excerpt from a Help Desk call I just got off of:

"Ok, now I need you to type a, no, not the words FORWARD SLASH, I need you to hit the forward-slash key...lower right hand side of the keyboard, the same key as the question, not a question mark, the forward slash. Don't use the shift key."
posted by S.C. @ 9:06 AM | 6 comments

As Much As I Love Children...

I think it'll be a while before The Redhead and I try to pump out some chitlins, gifts of sexy lingerie notwithstanding (an obvious ploy from my cousin Shaun to try to get us to procreate).

I mean, babies and children are sweet, and I enjoy most of dealing with them but, as I watched my cousin go digging around in her 2 year old's butt to extract chunks of poo, I decided that I can handle waiting to have that experience with my own kids.

I'm still in awe of how she does it, with twins and a toddler. Feed one, feed the second, change the first, change the second, feed the toddler, bathe the toddler...gah. Too much, man.
posted by S.C. @ 7:44 AM | 2 comments

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

It's Official

I deal with fucking morons for a living.

S.C. : "Ok, now, can you tell me if the Cingular software is running."
F.I. : "Um, how do I tell that?"
S.C. : "Well, are there any windows on the screen that say 'Cingular'?"
F.I. : "Um, no, I don't see any."
S.C. : "Are you sure? This problem only occurs when the Cingular software is running."
F.I. : "No, I don't see any windows with Cingular on them..."
S.C. : "Ok, well, I need you to open your control panel..."
F.I. : "Oh, WAIT, I see a window called 'Cingular Communications Manager', is that it?"

<< sounds of S.C. banging head against desk >>
posted by S.C. @ 3:10 PM | 2 comments

I Want...

I want to learn how to play the drums.

I'm a natural percussionist, and I think I'd be a decent drummer.

Need a bigger house with more sound-proof walls, first...
posted by S.C. @ 9:42 AM | 1 comments

Papa Wants An iPod

This post is my entry into Autoblog's "Link Us Up And Win Free Stuff" contest (not the official title, of course).

Here are my Top Ten picks from the archives, sorted into personal categories. You'll notice I lean a lot towards hybrid and alternative fuel articles, which occurs because the reason I started reading Autoblog is because of it's attention to those segments of the industry.

Hybrids / Alternative Fuels

Toyota sees an all-hybrid future
- I really like knowing how different car companies are approaching hybrid tech, and I think Toyota is truely leading the pack.
A study on a large-scale implementation of biodiesel - A link to a nice article about the difficulties of creating a new fuel source.
New biodiesel process yields useful waste product - Just think, someday my ice cream could be a biodiesel byproduct.

Diesel Tech / Culture

Diesels Discussed by Auto Prophet - A look at diesels vs. gasoline, and how driving habits should affect the choice of fuel type.
Should Car Companies Invest in Diesels or Hybrids? - A great answer to a good question.

Models I'm Looking Forward To

Toyota Yaris - I'm a big fan of subcompact cars, especially from a car company I know and trust (I could never get myself to ride in a Geo Metro). I'd like to see more Euro-styled compacts on the roads, especially on the street I park on every night.
Wet Vette seats four, doubles as ski-boat - Yes, I'm a guy, and as a boy I fantasized about driving around in a car boat. My dream is almost here...

Cool Car Tech

Siemens VDO announces brake-by-wire system - I'd like to see more "by-wire" systems in cars, with good redundancies, of course...
Honda Advanced Safety Vehicles talk to each other - This is just plain cool. Imagine your car knowing that there's a slow down ahead...

Good Advice

Beware of flood cars in the used market - Obviously, timely advice.
posted by S.C. @ 8:47 AM | 1 comments

Bring In Da Funk

Gimme some funk.

I needs some funk.

:: rummages through iPod ::

Let's see...

I've got a live "Free" (Phish) with a nice and funky base line.

Oooooooh, I've got Dave Matthews and Friends doing "Thank You (Falletenme Be Mice Elf)" at Bonnaroo '04.

The album version of the James Gang's "Funk #49".

Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music, White Boy".

Or, how about the theme from "Shaft", by Chef...I mean, Isaac Hayes?

Can white, British rockers play funk? If so, then "Miss You" by Jagger & friends is in my lineup.

Speaking of British peeps, you might want to check out "Drugs" by Simple Kid. Not funk, but definitely a song that will have you bobbing your head in the car...
posted by S.C. @ 8:24 AM | 1 comments

Fine Him

As I was driving in to work this morning, I was passed by a gentleman in a truck (which was older than dirt), spewing black smoke from the tail pipe, and sparks from where the muffler was dragging on the groud.

WTF, mate?
posted by S.C. @ 7:44 AM | 0 comments

Heeeee's Baaaaaack

I'm back from the wilds of Nashville.

To all those who behaved, congratulations.

To all those who misbehaved, I expect details and pictures, where available.
posted by S.C. @ 6:50 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Road Trip

Off to Nashville for the day. Back tonight.

You kids behave yourselves.
posted by S.C. @ 6:30 AM | 3 comments

Monday, September 19, 2005

My True Love(s)

My future wife knows, and accepts, that there will always be another true love in my life.

Namely, the Cirrus SR22-G2. DAMN fine aircraft.

No, I do not own this aircraft...yet. Once I find a spare $410,000 lying around, that puppy is mine.
posted by S.C. @ 2:25 PM | 2 comments

Time To Squeeze More Shit Into My Brain

Yes sir, as it seems I'm closing in on the minimum hour requirements to be able to apply for my Instrument Rating, it's about time to start studying for the written test. Honestly, this thing will be harder than any final I took in college...

"Instrument Rating", I hear you cry. "What's that?"

Well, let's put it this way: As it is, I can fly a plane as long as I stay out of the clouds. That's good enough to allow me to fly about 30-40% of the year. An Instrument Rating allows me to fly solely by reference to instruments, which is a fancy way of saying I can fly through clouds, not around them.

"But, why do I care?", you ask.

You don't. But I like to talk about this stuff, and it's your own damn fault for reading my blog anyway...
posted by S.C. @ 2:17 PM | 0 comments

Raking In The Loot

So, first things first, I had a great flight up to Terre Haute yesterday. First flight since July...

The Redhead was nice enough to give me the abbreviated version of the shower, while we went through the booty she had received and ooh'd and ahh'd and WTF'd...

Some of the cool stuff:

My aunt gave The Redhead a bracelet that used to belong to my granndmother, along with a note saying that she would've really liked her. (True)

4 bowls, 4 salad plates, and 2 dinner plates from a set of "casual china" we registered for. Best part? Microwave-freezer-oven-dishwasher safe, baby!

Some really good knives...

Some very pretty Lenox pieces...

And, finally, YES! Our first set of candlesticks! (1 down, 15 to go...)
posted by S.C. @ 8:14 AM | 7 comments

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Off To Terre Haute

Yes, I actually get to fly this afternoon, while The Redhead is at a wedding shower.

I'm off to Terre Haute, IN. Why Terre Haute? Well, first, it's 105 NM away, which makes it perfect for a 2 1/2 hour round trip.

Second, they've got big runways, and sometime you get to see military jets take off.

Finally, nostalgia, because one of the training flights I took for my license was to Terra Haute.

Back in a bit.
posted by S.C. @ 1:06 PM | 1 comments

Friday, September 16, 2005

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Ok, let's face it. People sucked in the 70's, they sucked in the 80's, they sucked in the 90's, and they suck today.

Case in point, we're watching "Festival Express", a documentary about a series of music festivals across Canada in 1970 where the musicians rode from gig to gig in a private train. Pretty cool, awesome music, whatever.

However, we're watching a crowd of protesters assault police officers in an attempt to gain free access to a festival where the ticket price was $14, or $1 per band that would play.

Protesters in Toronto demanded either a)free admission, free food, free drinks, or b) 60% of gross to distribute as they saw fit.

As a result, ticket sales for the event declined, and the producers took a bath. Just like at Woodstock. These were people who showed up without money and felt entitled to gain entrance to an event. It demonstrates that the Hippies suck just as much as any other group.

In my experience, actually, the best group of people to deal with are the goth crowd. The majority of them are unfailingly polite.
posted by S.C. @ 11:11 PM | 1 comments

Too Much Light

Ok, so anyone who's from, or lives near, Chicago, this is for you.

There's a theatre group there that calls themselves The Neo-Futurists. We have a few of them down here in Louisville doing a show at Actors Theatre, and it's really good. I call it "scripted improv", and you might see why.

When you enter the theatre, you are handed a "menu", a date-specific list of 30 play titles, each with a number. There are also some random facts about the group, which change from day to day, and some nifty quotes. At the start of the show, one of the group explains how things will work. They will run a timer onstage, and their goal is to perform all 30 plays in 60 minutes. Which play they perform at which time will be determined by the audience shouting out numbers. Sounds bizarre, right?

The plays are short, 30 seconds, 2 minutes, whatever. They're all based, in some way, around the life or lives of one or more of the company members. And most of them are funny as hell.

At the end of the show, they roll a six-sided di, and whatever number comes up, that's the number of plays they have to remove from the list and replace with new plays.

The performance is funny, touching, and thought-provoking. These people are very clever and witty, and it's a joy to watch them in action. Their home base is in Chicago, so I hope any of my readers in the area will check them out.
posted by S.C. @ 10:44 AM | 2 comments

My Idea Of God

Being a true computer geek, a major part of my life philosophy goes like this: Everything is made up of smaller, less complex units. Conversely, every small thing can be combined into a larger, more complex system.

Case in point: The smallest unit in computing is a bit, which is like a light switch. It only has two positions, On (1), and Off (0). And yet, from this tiny, 2 choice item, we can build incredibly complex systems that can represent the bulk of human learning, philosophy, sexuality, humor, the list is endless.

In a similar way, atoms combine to molecules, which combine to compounds, which combine into cells, which combine into tissue, which combine into organs, which combine into organisms. Honestly, the human brain is nothing more than a couple billion simple cells that have, through multiplication, become something much more than the sum of their parts.

Who's to say God isn't the product of the Universe itself, the organism that is was created in the Big Bang, and has evolved over the billions of years since?
posted by S.C. @ 9:53 AM | 1 comments


God, I'm sore. I really went to town on myself (safely, mind you) at the gym last night. Pushed myself to muscle failure in several sets (that's a good thing).

But I'm feeling it this morning...
posted by S.C. @ 8:19 AM | 3 comments


Edgy Mama has a great post on the rules of the road when it comes to blog relationships. It's a very nice read, even nicer since I try to follow these precepts anyway.
posted by S.C. @ 7:36 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Half-Nekkid Thursday

Several of the blogs I read post for Half Naked Thursday. Seeing as I live in the South, here it's Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Posted this before, but I have no other skin shots of myself (yet).

Enjoy me in all my bionic goodness.
posted by S.C. @ 2:35 PM | 3 comments

Why Toyota Is Kicking Ass

In a study conducted by R.L. Polk & Co., Toyota's hybrid Prius accounted for 64% of all U.S. hybrid sales in 2004, with Honda coming in second with 31%. This year, Toyota is poised to return similar numbers, and the trend doesn't seem to be slowing any time soon. The question is, why? Why is Toyota so far ahead of Honda, a company that has been in the hybrid business for just as long?

In this blogger's opinion, it has to do with corporate philosophy. Namely, Toyota's philosophy that hybrid technology isn't just a passing fad, or an intermediate stage, but a viable technology that will carry weight for 50 years or more. This can be seen in a)their announced plans of having 10 models with hybrid options by 2008, and b)their $6.9 billion (with a 'b') R&D budget for this year, the highest of any Japanese auto maker.

The way the other auto companies around the world are treating it, hybrid technology is the middle step on the way to fuel cells. While it may very well be that, it will be on a much longer timeline than the 20 year target that some people are touting. Honestly, I can't imagine driving a production fuel cell car before I'm 50, so what's to say that hybrids aren't valuable?

Resource Link
posted by S.C. @ 10:23 AM | 0 comments

A Good Day

It's a good day when I have to fasten my belt one notch tighter...
posted by S.C. @ 9:53 AM | 1 comments


From The Management:

Several complaints have been received about the ranking of preferred bloggers in the latest meme post. This situation has now been rectified, with the following changes:

The old list:

1) Kira
2) E.M.
3) P.B.B.Q.
4) C.G.
5) Autumn
6) Jezzy
7) Mama Duck (and not just because she posts pictures of her rack)

And the new list:

1) Kira
1) E.M.
1) P.B.B.Q.
1) C.G.
1) Autumn
1) Jezzy
1) Mama Duck (and not just because she posts pictures of her rack)
posted by S.C. @ 9:39 AM | 3 comments

1 Month

Holy shit, I just realized it's one month until the wedding...
posted by S.C. @ 8:53 AM | 3 comments

Ahh, Politics

I love The Daily Show. I think Jon Stewert is one of the most intelligent people in the media business today.

Tuesday night's show contained a fantastic bit on the confirmation hearings of John Roberts, including a fantastic clip where, during his 10 minutes of questioning / rambling / preaching, Sen. Tom Coburn breaks down:

" heart aches for less divisiveness...::sniffle::...less polarization...::sniffle::...less finger-pointing...::sniffle::...less bitterness...less partisanship"

Then Stewert took a moment to remind us of some of Coburn's other, more tender statements:

About the gay community : " the greatest threat to our freedom that we face today."

About abortion : "I favor the death penalty for abortionists."

Stewert also pointed out that Coburn was caught in a shot on C-SPAN doing a crossword puzzle during someone else's questions.

Jon Stewert, you are my hero.

(A full write-up is available at TV Squad)
posted by S.C. @ 8:16 AM | 1 comments

Bill Gates Hope To Take Them From Behind

Yeah, ok, great story writing there, chief.

The actual paragraph that line is from:

Apple and Google are ahead of Microsoft in key markets, but Microsoft chairman Bill Gates hopes to take them from behind.

View the entire article (via Applegeeks Comics, oddly enough)
posted by S.C. @ 7:46 AM | 1 comments

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I Want...

I like things with gears and stuff, so I've been keeping tabs, via Autoblog, on the Frankfurt (Germany) Auto Show. Apparently, Toyota has announced that they will be replacing the Echo with the Yaris, which is their compact car in the European market.

The reason that I bring this up is, well, I find it exciting. I'm hoping that the Americanized Yaris will produce pretty good MPG and emissions numbers, without being a hybrid, which would allow me to replace my '02 Prius with a cheaper, but almost as efficient car. (I'm averaging 46 MPG right now, and if I could get 36+ with the Yaris, I would seriously consider it)

Why? Well, when I think about it, there are now two Hybrids in my immediate family, and mine is 3 years and 60,000 miles older than The Redheads. I use my car, predominently, about 20 miles a day around the city. If the Yaris isn't a polluter or a gas hog, why not go for the smaller, cheaper car for the day-to-day stuff, and use The Redheads vehicle for our road trips?

Just a thought. I'm also excited because, apparently, there are some version of the Yaris which are kind of partial-Hybrids, where they have a battery that allows the engine to turn off at idle, but they lack the electric motors to boost acceleration. *THAT* could be a way cool method of bringing one of the best features of a hybrid to the non-hybrid crowd...

:: crosses fingers ::
posted by S.C. @ 1:19 PM | 0 comments

Funniest Lawyer EVER

Head on over to Pelican Barbecue's blog to check out the response he got from Law Review regarding his submission of an article entitled "Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham; A Contractual Analysis."

This guy cracks me up.
posted by S.C. @ 8:05 AM | 0 comments


Here's an easy recipe for grilled pork tenderloin that we had for dinner last night. For my readers who have religious / personal / dietary restrictions on pork, this will work with chicken, or any white fish, but you'll have to adjust the cooking time accordingly.

1. Make the marinade by combining 3 TBSP of soy sauce, 2 TBSP of orange juice, 1 TBSP of honey, and 1/2 tsp of bottled, diced garlic. This makes enough marinade for 1 or 2 1-lb. tenderloins, so scale to match your needs.

2. Trim the fat from the tenderloin, and place in a sealable bag with the marinade, making sure the meat is coated. Place in refrigerator and marinate for 1-6 hours.

3. Preheat your grill, and adjust for medium-high heat.

4. Place tin foil on a baking pan. Remove tenderloin from bag and drain the marinade. Place the tenderloin on the tin foil.

5. Adjust the grill for indirect grilling (turn the burners under the meat off, and leave the other set of burners on)

6. Place the baking pan on the grill, and cook for 40-50 minutes, until the meat reaches 160 degrees F on the inside. (The long, slow cook will help the meat stay tender and juicy)

7. Remove, let cool, slice, and serve. We had it in wraps, slice the tenderloin thinly, and then add it to a wrap with pre-made cole slaw mix from the grocery, which has been tossed with a little rice vinegar and olive oil.
posted by S.C. @ 7:35 AM | 1 comments

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Home Run

And the good news just keeps on coming, my mother will be leaving the hospital today.

She really has made huge strides since this weekend. I stopped in last night to see her, and she looked 10,000% better.
posted by S.C. @ 9:12 AM | 7 comments


Ok, I was tagged by Jezzy. In keeping with my theory that memes are like chain-letters, I will complete the meme, but I will not tag anyone else.

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
1) Visit Santorini, Greece.
2) Run in a marathon (and not die).
3) Go back to Hawaii.
4) Build a house.
5) Learn to drum.
6) Learn to speak Italian fluently.
7) Move to Italy.

7 Things I Cannot Do
1) Speak Italian fluently.
2) Give birth (for obvious reasons).
3) Give someone a rimjob (sorry, my tongue + someone's asshole = bad stuff)
4) Cheat on The Redhead.
5) Ever drink alcohol again.
6) Roll my r's
7) Speak in front of large groups of people

7 Things That Attract me to the same or opposite sex
1) A knowing smile.
2) Sparkling eyes.
4) Shapely legs.
5) Red hair.
6) Or brown hair.
7) A good laugh.

7 Things I Say Most Often
1) "Well, shit, Sheriff"
2) "Hey, you. It's me."
3) "Oh, hell yeah!"
4) :: ring ::
"What are you doing?"
"Just watching the market recap, drinking an import."
"That is correct. THAT is CORRECT."
"What are you doing?"
"What are YOU doing?"
"Hey, Brett, who's that?"
"Hey, Chad, pick up the cordless."
"Chad here."
"What are you doing?"
"What are YOU doing?"
"What are you DOING?"
5) (while looking at home renovation magazines) "Mmmm, porn."
6) "Meh."
7) "Smooth move, Ex-Lax."

7 Celebrity Crushes
(or, 7 celebrities I actually respect)
1) Charlize Theron
2) Cate Blanchett
3) Sarah Alexander
4) Connie Nielson
5) Kate Beckinsale
6) Jack Davenport
7) Johnny Depp

7 Bloggers I Really Like
(This is in place of tagging someone)
EDIT : List had been updated due to complaints.

1) Kira
1) E.M.
1) P.B.B.Q.
1) C.G.
1) Autumn
1) Jezzy
1) Mama Duck (and not just because she posts pictures of her rack)
posted by S.C. @ 7:38 AM | 5 comments

Monday, September 12, 2005

Forget The Stock Market

Invest In Alpacas

I LOVE Alpacas

(Note: This is from a REAL television advertisement. This is too good to make up.)
posted by S.C. @ 10:25 PM | 0 comments

Good News

So, found out that my mother is having a very good day. First, and most importantly, she got someone to wash her hair for her (she's been fretting about that). Secondly, they've removed her catheter. And, finally, they've announced they'll be letting her go home on Wednesday.

posted by S.C. @ 3:11 PM | 1 comments

Another Week Begins

After a long weekend, time for another week to begin.

On Friday, the doctors decided that my mother's bowels weren't moving at all, and they needed to drain the acids from her stomach. To do that, they had to insert a tube, through her nose, into her stomach. She managed about 9 hours with it in, then panicked and had to have it taken out.

Saturday was rough for her, because she was still producing acids and gas, but none of it was being expelled through the illiostomy bag, so it was building up inside. The only way she had of releasing the gas was by belching, but that only worked occasionally. She was so scared that they might put the tube back in that, when the attending mentioned it, she was in tears in seconds.

Sunday was much better, things started moving again, the doctors heard good rumblings in her stomach, and they told her she won't have to have the tube again, which I think helped her even more.

In other news, I spent a few hours Saturday with The Redhead, rearranging furniture, trying to figure out what we need to get / register's going to be rough trying to squeeze everything both of us own into one house.

Oh, and, apparently we don't know what to register for. Since we decided we didn't want fine china (we don't want anything that can't be put in the dishwasher) and registered for "casual china" instead, some of The Redheads relatives just picked a china pattern on their own and started getting us stuff from it. I don't like to look a gift horse in the mouth, but can you fucking follow directions, people?
posted by S.C. @ 7:40 AM | 2 comments

Friday, September 09, 2005

Tickets Changed

Got our tickets for Greece changed.

We now have an afternoon and an evening in London on the way back.
posted by S.C. @ 1:59 PM | 2 comments


So, speaking of new TVs and stuff, I had been surfing Amazon, pricing out some electronics, and I wanted to find the price on a certain TV. Well, unfortunately, they make you add it to your cart to get the price (this way, it's not an "advertised" price, so other companies aren't obligated to beat it).

Well, I purchased some books yesterday, but forgot to remove the TV from my cart. In fact, I wouldn't have known at all until it showed up at my door, but for my credit card company calling to check up on the purchase...I love my fraud prevention department. :)
posted by S.C. @ 10:41 AM | 1 comments

A Phrase I Never Thought I'd Say

"Get on your back and prepare to come."

Funny thing, life.
posted by S.C. @ 8:58 AM | 2 comments

Let's Talk T.V.

When I got home from the hospital last night, I was pretty tired. It's amazing how tiring sitting in a hospital room can be...

So, anyway, I need some kind of a pick-me-up, it's been a long day, and I'm kind of drained. So, I pop in Disc 2 of the first season of Scrubs...

I cannot tell you how much I love that show. Even after, what, 3 seasons now, it's still fresh, funny, and insightful. Touching and irreverent, all at once. And with lots of quotable lines, which is a big plus in my book, because I am the King of Random Quotes. (Just ask anyone whose blog I've commented on recently...)

That got me thinking about hospitals and TV, which reminded me of an experience I had a couple of years ago...

At some point one evening, I started to notice a fluttering in my chest. I didn't think much of it, but the next day it was still there, so I made an appointment to go see my doctor that afternoon. When I saw him, he diagnosed me with atrial fibrillation, which is not an immediately threatening problem, but it needed to be corrected pretty quickly. So, I get admitted to the hospital overnight for treatment and observation.

I'm in the Cardiac ICU, and I am by far the youngest person there, by at least 40 years or so. The guy in the bed next to me is literally dying, his priest is there, his family, everyone's saying their goodbyes. And, here I am, hooked up to a heart monitor with my heart fluttering around 150 beats per minute. Scary shit for a 22 year old.

The evening wears on, visiting hours end, and my parents leave (they, of course, are freaked out too, which doesn't help). I'm lying there, waiting for the cardiologist to return with my results, and I start flipping through channels on the television. I end up on FOX, watching the series premiere of a show called "Firefly". This turned out to be important because, for an hour at least, it completely took my mind off of the fact I was in the hospital, and even made me laugh a couple of times. The show, to this day, remains on of my favorite series ever, so if I end up quoting something dryly humorous that you don't know where it's from, it's probably from "Firefly".

Sorry about the ramble, folks.

"Who's flying this thing? Oh, right, that would be me..."
posted by S.C. @ 7:38 AM | 1 comments

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Ok, So What The Hell?

Your body, supposedly, does most of it's healing while asleep.

If that's the case, why can nobody sleep in a hospital?

I'm serious, I've been here since 7am, and, with one exception, the longest we've gone without someone coming into the room has been about 30 minutes. And it's not all required, healing stuff, either. We've had 12 visitors, two each from six different departments, show up and ask questions about the quality of care, etc. etc. etc., basically just giving a survey. This occurs randomly, but usually as my mother is finally falling asleep.

I ask you, why, why God why, must you people come into the room and ask these stupid questions? Are you afraid she'll die before she gets to fill out your little "quality questionnaire"?

Things are going pretty well, otherwise. She's had two walks today, and the pain is getting more manageable, she doesn't have to hit the painkiller button every six minutes like she has had to. The pathology report came back, nothing unexpected there.

I'm here until about 4:30, then I'll be relieved by my dad.

(Just FYI, the filters here have been randomly blocking Blogger, that's why you haven't heard more from me).
posted by S.C. @ 2:41 PM | 2 comments

Another Way I Don't Want To Die

Crushed beneath a gravestone. While drunk.

But she urgently needed to relieve herself and crouched down between two gravestones. As she lost her balance, she grabbed one of the stones which gave way and landed on top of her.

The public prosecutor's office said she died of suffocation as she was unable to lift the heavy stone.

via Yahoo! News
posted by S.C. @ 9:20 AM | 1 comments

Nurse S.C.

Greetings from the hospital. Today is my day to keep my mother company, so I'll be here most of the day.

Got here early to meet an IT guy to see if I could set up my mother's laptop on the wireless network here. It went pretty smoothly, and I am now posting from her hospital room.

The setup here is quite nice, each floor is divided into subsections, identified by letters (we're in H), and each subsection is 4 rooms branching off of a small nurses station. A pretty good setup allowing for privacy, some measure of peace, but also a quick response in needed.

I'm here till 4, and will be responsible for entertaining myself most of the day, so I'll probably post again...
posted by S.C. @ 8:20 AM | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


With all the fundraising that's going on, I'd like to throw my favorite charity in:

It's the "Let's Chip In And Buy S.C. A New Entertainment Center" Charity.

I kid, folks.

I have, however, been pricing out my dream system, and wishing I had a little more free cash available...

So, I've picked out the following items (any videophiles please feel free to chime in)

46" Toshiba DLP TV with stand
Toshiba DVD player with HDMI up-convert

Anywho, just my little wishlist for now.
posted by S.C. @ 10:12 AM | 1 comments

Good Morning

Nothing really to report here, my mind is kind of still waking up. Maybe I'll come up with a rant or something later in the day.

My mother is still doing well. Yippee!

I made it to the gym last night, which makes me feel better, because I didn't get there ONCE last week.
posted by S.C. @ 7:42 AM | 1 comments

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


Funniest stuff I've seen in a long time.

Available here.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
posted by S.C. @ 3:30 PM | 2 comments

Thank You

Falletnme Be Mice Elf

No, but, seriously, thank you to everyone for their good wishes and prayers. It means a lot to me, spiritually, to have positive thoughts for my mother out there (I'm a little bit of a hippie, after all...)
posted by S.C. @ 1:37 PM | 0 comments

And She's Out

Just got an update, my mother made it through surgery. The update is as follows:

Just talked with Dr. XXXXX and the surgery went very well. He got done exactly what he wanted to. There was minimal blood loss, so a transfusion was not required. There were no unexpected complications.

She'll be in recovery in about half an hour. I'll go back to see her then. When she leaves recovery in about two hours, we'll get a room number.

Obviously, I am very pleased with this news. Now comes the hard part: Making sure nobody fucks up enough to kill her while she recovers in the hospital! To do that, a family member will be with her throughout the day, every day, and a private nurse will be in the room throughout the night, every night.

#1 killer of surgical patients is medication errors
#2 killer of surgical patients is post-op infections

So, to combat that:

Only one person at a time is allowed in the rooms, and we are allowing no visitors outside of immediate family.

Also, we're at a hospital where the patients wear bar-coded wristbands, and to dispense medications, the nurses have to scan the patient's code, then the medication's code, and the computer has to agree that the medication is allowed.

So, I think we're off to a good start. :)
posted by S.C. @ 1:14 PM | 2 comments

My Family Is So Funny

So, with my mother in surgery, all of us are playing the waiting game to see how things go.

In the meantime, I have been assigned the task of tracking down the network administrator for the hospital she's at and getting Internet access set up in her room, so she can check her mail and do stuff to occupy herself for the next 10 days.

We're such techno-freaks...
posted by S.C. @ 10:22 AM | 1 comments

If You Pray...

...please say a prayer for my mother.

She's currently in surgery to have the tumor that they discovered at the beginning of the summer removed. She should be in for about 4 hours.
posted by S.C. @ 7:40 AM | 3 comments

Lucky Weekend

Well, my whirlwind Labor Day weekend has come to a close.

Saturday, flew up to Michigan, had a massage, took a nap, went to a picnic, went to a bad movie...

Sunday, drove from Northern Michigan to Southern Indiana (9 hours), met The Redhead at a casino / hotel / spa called Belterra, got another good massage, had a really good dinner, played Blackjack for a couple of hours and left with more money than I brought in, went back to the hotel room and...slept.

Monday, drove down the river (the scenic route) to Louisville, dropped The Redhead at her place, ran some errands, washed and gassed up my parents' car, returned it to them, shot some birds, came home, watched TV, went to bed.

All in all, a pretty good weekend, I'd say.

The Redhead had her bachelorette party Saturday night at the casino, that's why she was there. Apparently, there was a lot of laughing.
posted by S.C. @ 7:36 AM | 0 comments

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I'm So Ashamed

Why, why, WHY am I addicted to horribly bad movies?

I mean, like awesomely bad movies.

Why, why, WHY did I got see "Transporter 2" when I knew, I KNEW it was going suck big fat donkey dick?

Because I'm a freak.

Maybe my brains were addled from having to listen to a bunch of drunk old people sing songs after the clubhouse dinner I went to tonight.

Maybe it was because I had talked myself hoarse thanking everyone for their well wishes for my wedding, my mother, etc. etc. etc.

Or maybe it's because, if another person said "I remember you when you were only this tall", I'd reply, "Funny, I remember you when you only had this many wrinkles."

Anyway, the movie was awesomely bad. Like, "Reign of Fire" bad. Something to watch while drunk or stoned...
posted by S.C. @ 11:16 PM | 2 comments

Nanook of the North

Greetings from up north. Northern Michigan, that is, near Petosky (for those of you with geographical inclinations).

Flew up this morning with my father, will stay over night, and then an 8 hour drive back. This is why the keep me around, to take care of stuff like this.

In other news, it's almost time to take my heart monitor off. The adhesive they use makes my skin itch something fierce, and I can't scratch. There will be a shower following the removal, followed by a nap (hard to sleep with this crap on).

Apparently, my payment for services rendered is a massage from a local masseuse (who is supposed to be really good) this afternoon.

In other news, The Redhead is headed up to a casino / hotel / spa in Indiana with her girlfriends for the bachelorette party. Apparently, what happens in Indiana, stays in Indiana.
posted by S.C. @ 11:12 AM | 0 comments

Friday, September 02, 2005

1000 Words

posted by S.C. @ 8:21 PM | 2 comments

Sandpaper + Skin + Razor = OUCH

So, I'm currently wearing a 24-hour heart monitor as part of my FAA-mandated medical testing.

The way they prepare us hairy apes is:
1. Shave a Picasso-esque smiley face into our chests
2. Rub area with alcohol
4. Rub area with alcohol

I think they used to beat you with a leather whip, too, but they found out too many patients were enjoying the process.

Anyway, I have to keep this crap on for 24 hours. Rah rah rah.

I'll post a picture later if I think about it.
posted by S.C. @ 12:33 PM | 2 comments


Note: This is paraphrased from the original, but you'll get the drift.

As I was walking on the beach one afternoon after a storm, I saw thousands upon thousands of starfish washed up on the shore, dying in the sun.

A little ways down the beach, I came upon a little boy, picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the sea. I knelt down and said, "Little boy, why are you doing this? There are thousands of starfish here, and you're just one person. What difference can you make?"

The boy smiled as he picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea. "It made a difference to him."
posted by S.C. @ 8:02 AM | 0 comments

More Good News

Like many other people, some friends of my uncle lost everything in Katrina.

My uncle has offered them a house to stay in, so they're coming up here.

My uncle also managed to get their son enrolled, tuition-free, for the rest of the semester at a really good K-8 school in the area.

It's stuff like that that they need to put on the news. Like local hotel owners charging only $25 a night for rooms for evacuees. Like the local school system gearing up to take as many children as possible. Like the city of Houston opening its arms and saying, "What, 300,000 more people? Come on in!"
posted by S.C. @ 7:58 AM | 0 comments

Some Good News For A Change

A couple of months ago, we found out that my mother has rectal cancer. Since this form of cancer is slow-growing, they decided to take their time and pick a doctor that came highly recommended. That done, she was started on a 6 week programs of slow, continual chemotherapy, and targeted radiation therapy four days a week.

Since then, she's been on a 6 week resting period, getting ready for her surgery (which is Tuesday). Wednesday, she went in for a CT scan of the region, so the doctors could get an idea of what the therapy had done to the cancer. The good news is, there were no lumps large enough to show on the scan, which means the chemo and radiation worked exactly as they planned.

What's even better is, after they do surgery on Tuesday, they'll run the excised tissue through pathology and, based on the results, they'll determine the next course of action, which originally was supposed to be another, heavier, round of chemotherapy. They're saying now, though, that she has a 50/50 chance of not needed any more treatment after the surgery.

It's good to get good news.
posted by S.C. @ 7:41 AM | 1 comments

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Ok, Dude, Seriously

The police and national guard in New Orleans need to start shooting people.

The mob has started firing at rescue helicopters, causing the evacuation of the SuperDome to stop.

via Yahoo! News
posted by S.C. @ 8:44 AM | 2 comments

Woe To Asheville

I heard a rumor about it today, and Edgy Mama confirmed it, that Asheville, NC is running dry on gas (they only have Supreme left, and not a lot), and another shipment might not make it until next week.

This all got real weird real quick, I don't think anyone really thought Katrina would do this much damage.

They're saying that 80% of the buildings on the coast in Biloxi are just gone, wiped out like a bomb blast...
posted by S.C. @ 7:49 AM | 2 comments

The Good Side Of People

I was pleased to hear that a local hotel owner, when she found out her hotels were packed with people from New Orleans, cut the price for their stay from $99 a night to $25 a night, effective retroactively.

There ARE still some good people out there.
posted by S.C. @ 7:30 AM | 0 comments


I'm thinking it'll top out around $3.59 here...


A friend of mine in Atlanta says it's up to $5.00 a gallon on shortage scares there...
posted by S.C. @ 7:29 AM | 1 comments