Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Cell Phone Etiquette For Morons

Today's excercise in blinging rage is brought to you by Morons With Cell Phones, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to wrecking cultural and social havoc across the country.

Cell Phone Etiquette For Morons

In Restaraunts
If your cell phone rings while eating a meal in public, please either send the call directly to your voicemail, or answer it, ask the person to hold, and walk outside and take the call.

By no means should you ever continue the conversation while sitting at the table stuffing food into your mouth. Also, letting the phone continue to ring that obnoxious fucking jingle while you sit there, oblivious to the aural pain you are causing other patrons of the eating establishment, is a bit of a faux pas.

In Movie Theaters
Please see the rules regarding use in restaraunts. Also, calling someone to tell them where you are in the theatre AFTER THE MOVIE HAS STARTED is grounds for immediate death.

In Theatres, Church, etc.
PLEASE TURN THE FUCKING THING OFF. Unless you are a doctor on call, you have absolutely no reason to have that goddamn phone on while you are at a live event.

If I hear your phone go off while at a play, I will track you down and ram that device into the most inconvenient orifice on your body that I can find.

If I hear it go off in church, I will just laugh, because I must be there against my will anyway.

In Cars
I'm sorry, but not all people are created equal. Some people can multitask a lot better than others can. Indeed, some people can DRIVE a lot better than others can, so why don't you pay attention to what you're doing, instead of yammering on about the kids' soccer game, shall we?
posted by S.C. @ 9:36 AM |


<< Home