Monday, March 13, 2006

New Look, New Location

New address, new look, same great taste.

Nothing Rocks Harder has become...The Adjective Primate.

Please update your links. Nothing Rocks Harder will stay active through the month of March, and will be gone by April Fools' Day. Or will it?
posted by S.C. @ 10:40 AM | 1 comments

I Want It Bad, But Not Too Bad

Greetings and salutations, dear readers.

We had a very nice weekend, including a dinner with some friends, a trip to my parents' house for Chinese take-out and the NCAA selection show, and a couple of stops at the gym.

I was scheduled to go flying Saturday afternoon and, if the weather was acceptable, we were going to fly to Lexington and back, to get some experience with en-route instrument flight.

The weather was almost perfect, in that it was raining and overcast, but the ceilings were high enough that we wouldn't have to worry about missing an approach. The bummer about it was, there were some thunderstorms embedded in the overcast, and thunderstorms and small planes just don't mix. So we had to scrub the flight.

That's kind of what makes this instrument training thing tricky. I need some experience in bad weather, so I know how to deal with it when I encounter it without an instructor, but it can't be too bad, or I can't go. It's the ultimate excercise in risk management.

So, we parlayed our flight into some productive simulator time.

Horoscopes will be up before lunch (EST), and I'll see if I can't get some more worthwhile content up here, while I'm at it.
posted by S.C. @ 8:27 AM | 0 comments

If Wishes Were Horses

"So, you don't wish that I was a tranny?"

"No."

"Wow, you said that with conviction."
posted by S.C. @ 6:43 AM | 0 comments

Friday, March 10, 2006

What A World

The Redhead read me the Kentucky blurb from yesterday's USA Today (you know, the 50 states condensed into a page?).

Apparently, with just three weeks left in the session for this year, the Kentucky General Assembly is finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of lawmaking. Among the topics to be discussed:

- A bill officially making clogging the State Dance.
- An amendment to the above bill, altering the State Dance to the Watusi.
- A discussion of whether or not to make Ring Around The Rosie the Official State Nursery Rhyme.

Already considered (and passed) - A bill allowing the victim in an attempted carjacking / home robbery to shoot the trespasser with minimal legal repercussions.

"Under the legislation, any unlawful, forcible entry into a home or car would be considered a deadly attack and could be met with deadly force, regardless of whether anyone had been threatened..."

Now, I wouldn't normally take umbrage to these bills...except for the fact that I don't think we have a state budget yet...

How about, next year, a bill that required the budget to be passed before any other legislative work can be dealt with?
posted by S.C. @ 9:36 AM | 0 comments

What A World, Pt. Two

In discussing the current political agenda with my father, he mentioned something that used to go one in the state legislature when he was a young man.

According to him, in the good ol' days, the Kentucky State Legislature would introduce the same bill at the beginning of every session, a bill that would levy a tax on hairdressers. All of the hairdressers in the state would flock to Frankfort to...lobby...against it.

Apparently, Kentucky state hairdressers aren't the brightest bunch, since the legislature did this for almost a decade before anyone caught on to the real reason they were introducing the bill.

I didn't see THAT on Schoolhouse Rock ("I'm just a bill...").
posted by S.C. @ 9:30 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Future Perfect

Horoscopes - Thursday, March 9th, 2006


Aquarius
You'll have an interesting encounter in a public restroom on Saturday, Aquarius. Do your best to enjoy it, because it will be the highlight of your weekend.


Pisces
Remember that your public life is just that, public. As the saying goes, "Man who live in glass house...dress in basement. And masturbate only on moonless nights."


Aries
You will be vindicated this weekend, Aries, by a series of events that would make Rube Goldberg shake his head and laugh. This might be a good weekend to buy pottery. I recommend some of the pieces from Kiki's Kiln.


Taurus
Stormy weather is on the horizon, Taurus, but that's ok, since you're currently engaged in learning to navigate it. Beware sea lions, they hold ill omens.


Gemini
If you feel like a rat in a maze this weekend, Gemini...well, just have another food pellet and try not to think about it. Reflect instead on the socioeconomic impact of spider population growth as it relates to the dandelion worldview.


Cancer
That fungus on your toe isn't dangerous, unless you consider the potential of losing your foot dangerous. Drink some green tea.


Leo
Lovely Leo, this should be a good weekend, despite the rain. There may be some Battlestar Galactica on in the house this weekend, as the season finale is Friday night. Your persistence in going to the gym will be greatly rewarded.


Virgo
You really need to clean your room, Virgo. I'm pretty sure there's a group of gnomes that have set up a small colony in that huge pile of underwear.


Libra
Try as you might, you'll never wipe all of the porn off your computer. The only solution is to clean the hard drive by soaking it in soapy water for a few hours. Just make sure to dry it off completely before reinstalling it in you computer. Safety first!


Scorpio
Though your dog may have destroyed something you treasure, remember that life isn't just about material posessions. Try to enjoy the simplicities of life this weekend, Scorpio. Sometimes even the simplest of things, like a red rubber ball or something shiny (SHINY!), can keep you entertained.


Sagittarius
Just give up.


Capricorn
Follow the lesson of the EPA this weekend, Capricorn. If your children can't seem to follow the rules you've made, simply relax the rules until they conform to the children's current actions. The government can teach us a lot about parenting if you know where to look.
posted by S.C. @ 8:01 AM | 1 comments

The Incredible Journey

So, I went to the airport to pick the Redhead up from her trip back from L.A.

I'm standing there outside the security checkpoint, and I see her walk out, animatedly chatting with another woman. Not unusual, my wife is a very friendly and easy-to-like person.

I meet up with her (taking her carry-on bag from her shoulder), and she introduces me to her new friend. As it turns out...

New Friend's sister just moved to Louisville, and is living on our street. When the sister moved, New Friend's cat apparently jumped into the moving van and went along for the ride. New Friend has flown up to Louisville to retrieve her cat.

Now, does that sound like a Disney movie, or what?
posted by S.C. @ 7:58 AM | 1 comments

Death Valley Ain't Got Nothing On Us

Some scientists working with the world's largest X-Ray generator have created the hottest temperatures ever on the planet Earth : 3.6 BILLION (with a B) degrees Farenheit.

What makes this story really interesting:

1. When the machine created the heat, it actually put out more energy than was put in, which could lead to groundbreaking work in energy sources like fusion.

2. The scientists who did it...don't know how they did it.

via Yahoo! News
posted by S.C. @ 7:43 AM | 0 comments

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I Love Technology

Not as much as you, you see/
but, still, I love technology.


So, had a nice chat with The Redhead while she waited for her flight to board at LAX this morning. We did a little strategizing about whether or not she would seek a bump on her Atlanta to Louisville flight. I left it up to her, and I told her I'd get back to her with more information.

Due to the magic of the Internet, I can track her flight with amazing precision (she just passed Phoenix). I can also check Delta's ticketing site for updates on her flight back home. While we were talking, there were five open seats on the flight. As of now, there are no open seats on the flight, pointing to a possible overbook.

When she touches down in Atlanta, she'll have a text message on her phone with all of this information.

Ain't technology grand?
posted by S.C. @ 11:26 AM | 1 comments

Looking For A Car?

The Detroit News has posted a survey regarding how long it took different car models to sell, based upon how long the average car would sit on the lot.

Among the fastest-selling cars:
Lexus IS - 10 days
Toyota Prius - 10 days
Scion tC - 10 days
Honda Civic - 13 days
Scion xA - 13 Days

(Yes, four of the top five sellers are manufactured by Toyota...what does that tell you?)

And the five slowest-selling cars:
Chrysler Crossfire - 302 days
Land Rover Freelander - 248 days
Ford Taurus - 246 days
Suzuki XL-7 - 245 days
Pontiac Montana SV6 - 217 days


The entire results are available here. So, if you're about to purchase a new car, check and see if it's on this list. If it's a slow seller, factor that into your negotiation, because the dealer may be dying to get it off the lot.

via AutoBlog
posted by S.C. @ 9:00 AM | 1 comments

I Am Such A Spazz

So, here I am, minding my own business in my cube, getting a little work done as I sip my coffee.

I've got my headphones plugged into my PowerBook, iTunes on shuffle. A live performance of a Phish song called Maze (1994/06/22 Columbus, OH, if anyone cares) comes on. Good stuff.

Then it hits the part of the song where a really cacauphonous, driving musical build transitions into this triumphant, wailing guitar revisiting the main theme of the song in a major key, and I instinctively spazz out.

I'm dancing in my chair.

I'm bobbing my head.

I'm waving my arms.

And, for a moment, I'm in an arena with 16,000 other phans loosing my shit because of what four guys on a stage are doing.

And it's all The Redhead's fault. ;)
posted by S.C. @ 8:24 AM | 0 comments

The Best Part Of Waking Up

Mm, there's nothing quite like a bloodletting before dawn.

The company is sponsoring a voluntary fitness assessment today (voluntary in that, if you volunteer to do it, you get $25...so, it's not too surprising we have 100% participation).

Among the things checked:
Blood pressure - Good
Weight - Too much
Body Fat Comp - Won't know until the end results come on Friday, but it can't be good
Flexibility Text - Kind of embarassing
Timed Crunches - Oh yeah, that's my chance to shine
Cardiovascular Step Test - Again, not all that bad
Blood Test - Mmmm, mmmm, good!

According to them, I'm in decent shape (pear-like is a shape, right?) even before I've had my coffee in the morning.
posted by S.C. @ 7:42 AM | 1 comments

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Macho Machines

Who said the Beetle was for wimps?






via AutoBlog
posted by S.C. @ 9:20 AM | 2 comments

Business Model

So, since I can't possibly finance this, I'll go ahead and put this idea out there for my eco-readers to take a look at...

In looking around the places where I work and live, I see a lot of roof space going to waste, especially in terms of industrial corporations.

Now, I know that, for most people and companies, the major hurdle to installing solar power is the initial cost of the installation vs. the return on the investment, because it's really about money in most cases.

So, what's the answer? How about a new breed of utility company that specializes in onsite, utility-owned solar? The utility company pays for the installation (which they can do at a significant discount, assuming they strike a purchasing deal with the PV manufacturers and the installation contractors), and they own the equipment, much like the power company owns the cable running to your house. They then install a meter and sell the generated electricity directly to the company.

It's a very rough sketch, I have no idea how local and national utility law would come into play, what deed provisions would have to be made in the event of change of ownership of the building, etc. etc. etc., but it's a fun little concept to toy with.

Anyone want to give me $50 million to start this thing with? ;)
posted by S.C. @ 8:53 AM | 2 comments

Family Feud

As I mentioned before, The Redhead is out on the West Coast for a couple of days, returning tomorrow (Wednesday) on Delta, through Atlanta. She had such a good experience taking a bump on a full flight (the Atlanta - Louisville and Louisville - Atlanta legs are always full) that she's considering taking another one on the return trip. We could always use another big travel voucher.

Coincidentally, my younger brother M, who is the master of taking the bump (I don't think this guy has actually paid for travel in about five years) will be returning to Louisville from Las Vegas, through Atlanta, approximately the same time. He almost certainly will try to take the bump.

So, if there's only one bump required, would they fight it out? What's even funnier is the image I have of the gate staff trying to figure out why two people with the same uncommon last name would be competing for a bump.
posted by S.C. @ 8:01 AM | 0 comments

The Bachelor's Life For Me

With The Redhead in semi-sunny L.A. for a couple of days, I'm set loose as a bachelor once again.

My exciting Monday night of being a bachelor involved watching TV, reading, playing video games, going over approach and enroute instrument charts, eating pizza, and watching more TV.

I tell you what, I am a party animal.
posted by S.C. @ 7:47 AM | 0 comments

The Sky Is Falling!

As a Mac guy, I get a lot of questions about security concerns, viruses, etc. I had one friend of the family that was so sure that her laptop had a copy of the new Mac trojan virus on it (newsflash, the Trojan virus is a proof-of-concept program that is not found "in the wild" and doesn't work all that well anyway) that she wouldn't use her laptop, and instead used only her virus-ridden PC (you know it's bad when your ISP shuts you down for being a virus spreader). So, I deal with a lot of people's misconceptions regarding computers in general and Macs in particular.

An article entitled "Mac OS X Hacked In Less Than 30 Minutes" has recently surfaced online, sparking an intense, well, shitstorm.

However, Damien Barrett over at The Unofficial Apple Weblog has taken a look at this supposed "hack" and discovered some interesting information:

1. To get someone to hack OS X, the author set up remote access to secure systems on his machine for anyone who wanted it (basically, handing some people your key ring and saying, "If you figure out which one of these opens my front door, you win.")

2. All of the built-in and external security measures normally taken with computers (firewalls, etc.) were disabled.

Basically, in his words:

"This machine was compromised from the inside with a known user account and password and with a granted attack vector!"

I know most of my readers don't care, but keep it in mind for the next time someone says "Heh heh heh, Apples suck, they get hacked really really fast."

via TUAW
posted by S.C. @ 7:31 AM | 0 comments

Monday, March 06, 2006

Future Perfect - Big Yawn Edition

Horoscopes - Monday, March 6nd, 2006
Sorry, folks, I can't promise any brilliance this morning. I'll try to do better on Thursday.


Aquarius

You should know, Aquarius, that one of the hotties that you will sleep with this week has an STD. I'd tell you which one, but I enjoy Russian roulette so much...


Pisces
Nobody loves you, Pisces, they just want your money and connections. Your dog only hangs around because you give out good snacks. And you were adopted.

Try to make the best out of the things you have in life.


Aries
Aries, this week will be considerably calmer than last week for you, mainly because of your new prescription for Valium. Do yourself a favor, though, and make sure not to look under your daughter's bed for a while.


Taurus

Do your best not to be stung by a massive hoard of supernaturally altered bees over the next few days, Taurus, as that can only lead to bad things. Enjoy any deep conversations you have with dogs.


Gemini

Gemini, now that the Pope has an iPod, you should feel free to start dancing again, no matter what John Lithgow says. Eat more squash.


Cancer

Cancer, Cancer, Cancer. Do I really have to explain to you how much of a schmuck you are? I mean, the women's underwear thing is fine, really, but the thing with the mayonaise is just taking it several steps too far.


Leo
As June Carter said when asked how she was doing, "I'm just trying to matter." This is a week that will help restore your sense that you have an impact on something great, and that you are damn good at what you do.

Wednesday might hold a surprise meeting with an in-law in an unexpected place.


Virgo
Try not to be too surprised tomorrow, Virgo, when you suddenly begin to lay eggs. You'll only be laying for a couple of hours, and after you've pumped out the first hundred, it won't even hurt anymore.


Libra

Libra, this is a good week for you to relax. Too bad you won't be able to, after a rabid purple giraffe destroys your backyard in a fit of cocaine-induced rage. Also, lay off the peyote.


Scorpio
Scorpio, this week will be fraught with danger after you visit a store specializing in implanted memories of vacations that you never took, only to learn that you're a secret agent who has a mission to complete on Mars.


Sagittarius
This is the week for you to throw caution to the wind, Sagittarius, and go ahead and get the operation you've always dreamed of but never had the balls to have. And, after they lop off all of your boy bits, make sure to keep the leftovers, as a souvenir.


Capricorn

Remember the lesson of Elvis, Capricorn, namely that you only get worse with age. If you really want to make a lasting impression, you should really find a way to die in a spectacular fashion before your 30th birthday. I'm just sayin', that's all.
posted by S.C. @ 8:54 AM | 0 comments

The Oscars : The Recap

Ok, here is my version of the Academy Awards:

Classiest Guy In The Room Award - George Clooney (Ok, I'll admit it, I thought you'd come to nothing when you started on ER...but mad props to you, my Kentucky-born brethren.)

Worst Faux Pas In An Acceptance Speech Award - Ang Lee (I mean, seriously, how could you thank the author of the movie, the producers of the movie, the fictional characters in the movie, and yet not thank the actors who did a spectacular job of winning your ass an Oscar?)

The Best Host The Oscars Have Had In A Long Long Long Long Long Time
Award
- Jon Stewart (With memorable lines such as "Good evening Ladies, Gentlemen...and Felicity," "Be sure to join us for next year's theme, A Tribute To Montages...you know, we're out of clips. Seriously, if you have any, send them to us. Even if they're on Beta..." and "You know what? I think it just got a little bit easier for a pimp out here."

The Award For Biggest Balls Of The Evening - Whoever won for Sound Editing (I think for King Kong) telling the orchestra, "Don't play me off stage, I can see you getting ready."
posted by S.C. @ 8:24 AM | 0 comments

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Academy Award Halftime Report

The sound mixing sucks. The vocals are too low and the orchestra is too loud.

Also, what the hell is up with the music playing underneath all of the acceptance speeches?
posted by S.C. @ 9:35 PM | 0 comments

The Oscars : Picks and Probables

Here's my pre-Oscar list of who I think should / will win:

Best Picture
Should - Good Night, and Good Luck
Will - Crash

Best Actor

Should - Terrance Howard, Hustle & Flow
Will - Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Capote

Best Actress

Should - Reese Witherspoon, Walk The Line
Will - Felicity Huffman, Transamerica

Best Supporting Actor

Should - George Clooney, Syriana
Will - Paul Giamatti, Cinderella Man

Best Supporting Actress

Should - Catherine Keener, Capote
Will - Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain

Best Director
Should - George Cloony, Good Night and Good Luck
Will - Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain

No, I won't be blogging the Oscars, mainly because a)we're going to a party for the first part, and b)gonna hit the sack early since I'm taking The Redhead to the airport at 6 tomorrow morning for her flight to L.A. (yes, I'm a bachelor for a couple of days...so except tidings of a nonstop pizza+beer+video game fest...)
posted by S.C. @ 6:40 PM | 0 comments

Friday, March 03, 2006

It Kind Of Goes Without Saying

From Yahoo! News:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A 25-year-old woman grabbed a sheriff deputy's sports utility vehicle on Thursday and led police on a two-hour televised car chase through suburban Los Angeles County.

No injuries were reported in the pursuit -- a staple of local TV news in the sprawling car capital of the world.

Deputy Dave Jennings said the woman, who was described as having a long criminal record, was being questioned in the back seat of a deputy's SUV about a stolen vehicle. She made her way into the front seat and drove off.

Followed by police cars and news helicopters, the woman screamed and sobbed into the on-board radio as officers tried to calm her down. In the end, the woman came to a stop and was arrested at gunpoint.

She is expected to face charges of theft and evading arrest.


NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.
posted by S.C. @ 11:54 AM | 0 comments

Kids Say The Darndest Things

The Redhead and I went over to my cousin's house to visit with her and help her with her kids (6 month old twins and an almost three year old). My parents came over for dinner as well, since they hadn't seen the kids since before my mother found out she had cancer. All in all, it was quite a fun evening. I could tell my mother was kind of jonesin' for grandchildren, but has been polite enough not to say anything to us about it.

One of the highlights of the evening was when Michael (almost three), who had already endeared himself to my mother by asking if my father was her dad, was told that "B is S.C.'s mommy. He's her big boy."

He immediately responded with, "Nuh uh, S.C. is The Redhead's big boy."

My mom looked to me and said, "Well, he's got a point."
posted by S.C. @ 8:35 AM | 1 comments

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Future Perfect - In Like A Lion Edition

Horoscopes - Thursday, March 2nd, 2006


Aquarius
This weekend you may feel like you're hemmed in by invisible walls, unable to move more than a few feet in any one direction. You may feel like you only live for those moments when some unseen force dispenses food into your chamber, and you may spend each day praying that the filtration system doesn't break down again, because you really don't want to spend three more days swimming around in your own shit.


Pisces
You will be shot with a crossbow at 12:42pm on Sunday. Try not to bleed all over the new rug.


Aries
Hey, Aries, be sure to check behind your computer monitor while you're doing your spring-cleaning, I'm pretty sure there's a technically advanced civilization that has sprung to life inside a coffee mug that's been there for a few months. While you might consider attempting to establish trade relations with them, it will just be more fun if you play God and visit a whole bunch of nasty disasters upon them.


Taurus
Do your best to remain calm in the face of raging stupidity over the next few days, Taurus. The rewards will be great. However, if you need to vent, may I suggest driving down the street in a car with a stereo that can cause people to go deaf from 20 feet away?


Gemini
This being the Century of the Fruitbat in some cultures, Gemini, you will be safe not filing taxes for this year. Any visits by the IRS will be entirely coincidental.

On a side note, your computer is infected with a whole bunch of nasty spyware. Have fun cleaning that off.


Cancer
Oh My God, you are going to get the bird-flu, AIDS and hepatitis, all on Saturday, which will drive you insane, so you will run stark naked through the streets until you are hit by a car and thrown into a ditch, where you will lie for several hours, occasionally being molested by a horny deer, until you are found and thrown into jail for being drunk in public.

Sunday will be a good day for a golf outing.


Leo
Lady Leos, this is a great weekend to lie in bed and bask for a while. Don't worry, the orange juice and soy sauce odor won't linger in the house forever.

Lions, get your manes trimmed. Also, catch and eat some small vermin, mice are especially tasty.


Virgo
Our cover has been blown. They're on to us. Operation in peril. Discontinue communications until furthur notice.


Libra
Male Libras need to take drastic measures this weekend. Go out to a bar, and start asking random women to marry you. Marry the first one that says yes. Lifelong happiness is garunteed.

Female Libras, if a random dude comes up to you and asks you to marry him, kick him in the balls.


Scorpio
Damnit, Scorpio, your boss isn't paying you to surf the Internet all day! Get your lazy ass back to work before I tell him what all of those "miscellaneous" charges on your expense report were.


Sagittarius
Sagittarius, do you ever feel lonely, confused, out-of-place? Have you ever wondered if everybody felt this way, or if it was just you? Well, I'm here to tell you, it's just you, you whining, sniffling little freak.

Do your best to remember to check under the toilet seat for snakes this weekend.


Capricorn
Avoid eating deep-fried spiders this week, Capricorn, as everybody knows that, when Saturn is in this position on the astral plane, ill fates await those who consume arachnids dipped in fat. Make sure your car and life insurance policies are up to date. Why? Oh, no reason...
posted by S.C. @ 8:12 AM | 2 comments

Questionable Advertising

The Redhead and I ended up watching Armageddon last night, mainly for the humor factor. The question I have is...has there been a severe drop in tampon purchasing over the last quarter?

Seriously, during this three-hour program (yes, we watched the whole thing...shut up), we saw the same ad for Kotex tampons...wait for it...wait for it...eight times.

Yes, boys and girls, slightly more than twice an hour, TNT decided we needed to have a brand of tampon recommended to us. Also, there were a couple of vaginal ointment commercials on, but I really didn't pay attention to those.

My question is, "Why?" Why during Armageddon, of all movies. Is it considered a chick flick and I just don't know it? I mean, I know that Ben Affleck is easy on the eyes and has outstanding acting skills (I just don't know why he didn't win an Oscar for that movie), but do they really think that their target market is the group that is attracted to Jerry Bruckheimer films?

The only thing I could come up with is that they're targeting husbands and boyfriends who may be asked to "stop at the store and pick up some tampons." Now, I can see that, without adequate instructions, said husbands and boyfriends would have a tough time picking from the stacks of tampons available to them, and might turn to their memories to see if anyone had recommended a brand to them.

"Think...let's think...oh! Bruce Willis said Kotex was the best!"
posted by S.C. @ 7:30 AM | 0 comments

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Sinking Feeling

One of the great things about living in the South...

Whenever someone uses your full name, you know you're in trouble.
posted by S.C. @ 10:45 AM | 1 comments

HelpDesk Call Of The Day : Trouble With Instructions

Now, as The Redhead has pointed out to me, I have a significantly greater grounding in computers and technology than about 90% of the people on the planet, so I need to be a little more understanding about their problems.

That being as it may...

I received a call yesterday from a gentleman who was attempting to log in to our system. Here's the call:

*ring ring*
S.C. : "HelpDesk, S.C. speaking."
Caller : "Yeah, my terminal is asking me for a username and password."
S.C. : "Yes...?"
Caller : "What do I tell it?"
*pause*
S.C. : "You enter your username and password."
*clickity clickity click*
Caller : "Ok, thanks! That worked!"
posted by S.C. @ 10:41 AM | 1 comments